Preliminary note: Dear reader, this post is fake news. I made some of it up. But they say it’s possible, even probable, what I’m about to tell you.
And you know who the “they” are, right? : unidentified omniscient sources of nearly angelic good intent and impeccable character, despite their ephemeral identity. They DO exist and they can be trusted. Believe me. And don’t believe Rachel Maddow.
So here’s the scoop: The Orange Fraud Felon Assaulting Liable-Liar has been canceling appearances left and right in these all-important days before the election—well, only on the right, actually; he never appears on the left. (This part is not fake news, it’s all too true.)
But they say he hasn’t canceled, but that his team has, to hide him. We know he thinks he doesn’t need protection—he’s strong, stable, and a genius. No reason to cancel here. So somebody else must be doing this.
So why hide the guy? They say it’s because he’s demented. Nothing wrong with that. My dad had dementia and I still loved him; loved him even more intensely, actually, despite our tortured history. He needed love.
But dementia doesn’t belong on this end of the red phone to Vladimir.
So his people are hiding His Senescence from us, but they still want him to win. What’s up?
Here’s the theory, and it is a conspiracy theory, but it’s true. Honest. There really is a conspiracy here.
They say that JD and the team want him to win. Then they plan to trot the poor devil out in public to demonstrate just how far gone he is. Then they invoke the 25th amendment and get rid of him—so JD can become president.
Pretty sneaky, huh? Right up JD’s shadow alley. Who knew he was that smart.
Then they fill out the roster (because His Senescence’s former aids developed Project 2025 before JD came on the scene and he has some tweaks in mind):
Stephen Miller as Secretary of Homeland Security; well, he was a shoe-in. Matt Gaetz as Secretary of the Epstein Memorial Department of Sex Trafficking and head of the Drug Enforcement Administration; he has experience in both. Elon as Secretary of Disinformation.
About Elon: Trump dangles promises in front of people like a biscuit before a dog, but he has a way of snatching it out of the puppy’s mouth just as she leaps for it. But JD really wants Elon—well, he wants his money. Maybe he’ll snatch the biscuit, too.
And, of course, Rudy as Attorney General; until he goes to jail.
You get the picture. All the best people, just like last time. Only mostly new ones, because the first ones are all in jail or awaiting trial.
I’m telling you, they say this is all true—JD’s nefarious plot to stage a palace coup as soon as His Senescence is sidelined. It will be riveting television.